A Hesitant Admission

A Hesitant Admission

Why are you so shy
to tell those
who you've felt for last
that the past is just that
and your world
has trekked on?
Surely I see
that you mean
well at heart,
and your love
is certain,
yet it still stings
to watch you
write lies to
previous lives
come and gone.
My soul sings
for your every motion,
yet still there are those
who know not
of our silent tango,
our feet tip-toeing past
as if to not cause a scene.
Yet, this scene is set
in my mind,
and it doesn't take place
in a sleepy ballroom
full of slumbering giants,
giant boulders blocking our path.
Nay, we are prancing
past with pride
as onlookers of all sorts
stare in pleasantness or envy
at the happiness we have.
I don't plan on tripping
anytime soon.

Saying Stupid Shit

Saying Stupid Shit

I contemplate
the words caressing my lips;
they want to escape,
march from my mouth
and charge onto the battlefield,
weapons unto themselves,
having no need for guns.
Yet I know these terms
will in fact wound,
not the soft pillows
I pad my speech with,
a passive compassion
hidden within every whisper.
Why should I utter
such stupidity?
Yet it is here,
staring me in the face
as it strides away
to collide with
the one staring back at me,
mocking me
with every step.
I reach out,
grabbing at its hand,
trying to wrench it back...
but it's no good.
It was gone long ago,
before it even formed
along the edges of my mind.
And now my eyes swing low,
staring at my hands
as I contemplate
the monster I've created.

Heavy With Dread

Heavy With Dread

The head is a heavy thing,
especially when burdened by guilt,
a lead balloon
one wears around their neck,
dragging their face and feet
along the ground
as they go about
a solemn and sorry routine.
How are you
to pop such a thing,
filled with falsehoods and hate,
held against others
and for yourself?
So gelatinous tis
with boulders black,
haughty deeds done rashly
tumbling about so fervently
they create a weight
of angry energy,
a powerful punch
of realized wrongs
bringing you to kiss the ground
pleading for peace
of mind and salvation.

If only you had not
grabbed fate by the throat
and throttled it about;
enraged as it is,
you'll never have
a moment's rest.

Taking A Step Back

Taking A Step Back

Breath flows through me,
surely slow,
surely certain
of my elephantine state,
a stampede of affection
that has crashed through your life,
trampled your thorough thoughts
and presenting a new way of weighing
where your priorities sit
on this temperamental scale.
But have I upturned
your very simple state of self,
your values smashing on the ground,
priceless china turned to dust in moments?
And if so...
is that as bad a thing
as I imagine?
My fears are endless and absurd,
yet they all agree;
you are who I hold dear,
taking you in my arms when I can
if only to reassure
the fool-hardy heart
that beats in my breast.
But perhaps I need
to take a step back
and see your soul as a whole
and not the almighty idol
I've made you out to be.
Only then can I truly hone my love
into the fine blade
that can protect us both
when facing our foe
in this internal duel.

Good Bye

A mad sadness eats at my heart as I may never hear from this person again. So this goes out to you, though I doubt you'll ever read it.

Good Bye

My heart fell
from heaven's heights,
flashing out of sight
and out of control,
plunging with abandon
like a rusty nail
into His fleshy wrist,
violent currents of pain
washing up and down his body,
a tsunami of suffering.
I saw your hurt
in every word,
yet you refused to take my own
phrases of faith
in a better tomorrow;
my hand has been cast aside,
a limp rag no longer of use,
lying on the ground
to soak up my tears
as they crash down out of disbelief
at my frustrating failure
to make things right
in this damned and deceitful world.
I lie down my head in defeat,
waiting for my mind to fully process
the loss that I know is there.
Soon it will rise, this realization,
a gross bile in my stomach,
ready to lurch from my chest
and show the world
the frustration and hurt
I now carry in my core,
a constant companion
in a world that knows no forgiveness.

Floating Over the Ice

The creative writing I do instead of what I'm supposed to in the creative writing class that doesn't feel all that creative yet

Floating Over the Ice

I feel your hand

wrap around my own,

the warm embrace

of two tired tots

with big, bright eyes,

staring around at the strangeness,

the uncertainty

written across the faces

of everyone who turns our way.

It makes us stop and think;

how are we,

youths blinded by the light,

ever to understand
a world without explanation

when these ancients' eyes

have yet to acclimate

to the actual?

I draw you close

in my blind worry

and press you to my chest,

tears welling up in my heart,

choking my veins and drowning my lungs,

sending me shuddering

into a block of unforgiving ice;

the truth is visible on the horizon,

but frigid with frosty facts

and blocked by an invisible iceberg,

my body slamming into it

again and again

as I fight to escape,

my body freezing,

becoming one with the cold confusion.

When, suddenly,

she is there

brushing the snow from my bones.

She is there

lighting a flame within my soul,

thawing my blood,

blue with sadness

for an unknown and unforgiving tomorrow.

And she is there,

taking my head in her hands,

her lips nuzzling my forehead

for just a moment

with a reassuring kindness.

Her whisper warms my ear:

"We will walk this world

without worry, my love.

We will tread these shaky grounds

side by side

and see a life

that no one can comprehend.

But we will enjoy it,

despite the unknown;

we will laugh and live well,

never alone.

There is no need

for us to know;

only to love."

She holds out herself to me,

and I join her,

we fledglings of God's nest

turning away from the hurt

that we can cause ourselves

and grasp the life vests

we wear for each other,

keeping us afloat

when alone we would drown.

Asking an Angel

Here's I poem I wrote specifically for a contest about consent... so here yah go!

Asking the Angel

By Luke Muench

The words

stumble out of my mouth,

a steady stream of uncertainty

breathed into my hand

as if it could convey

all my hopeless feelings

to the angel for me,

too holy for me to look upon,

my eyes averted to stare

at my dirt stained shoes.

She giggles to herself,

sending me a frightening current

that courses up and down my back;

it excites and causes fright

with the flap of a wing,

the sway of her hair,

a glorious pendulum

that ties up my heart

and holds my primal instincts

at bay.

Slow strides announces her presence,

a light breeze billowing through my mind,
this clock cranking at full speed,

steam sputtering out of my ears

and cogs breaking from the strain.

I brace my chest for the impact,

as if the bullet of denial

had already entered my chest.

Eyes closed, I feel a foolish bravery

straightening my back,

I standing still for my execution.

Two ropes wrap around my chest

As she readies to…

No- not ropes.

Kindly hands halo my head,

placing my lips onto hers,

where they belong,

a key slipping into the proper lock

and unlatching a passion

that feels so right, so natural.

I smile through the tongue-tied embrace,

a silent pat on the back.

For this could never have been

had my intentions faltered,

had my gaze gone astray.

Her heart is all that matters,

beating modestly in her chest,

contrasting the train

crashing through my ribs

with a new, fervent fuel

to send it on its course.

A Loving Visit

A touching moment for one of my campers this summer.

A Loving Visit

As he walked through
this life, looking straight ahead,
who knows what sadness
gripped at his mind,
a horrible hand
outstretched under his eyes,
squeezing the tears
out of those beautiful brown fruits
that have seen more
than any ten year old should.
But the moment he stepped
into His holy land,
a breath of light
hit him in the face,
wiping away the pain
with a gentle hand,
clearing his sight
so he might glimpse
the glory before him.
For, standing there,
one on either side
were his grandparents,
loved ones lost
long ago,
leaving without a proper goodbye.
I hope they made amends
while they strode
down that path together.
I hope they laughed and sang
for old times' sake.
And I hope they treasured
every moment they had
to hold each other close
before their time was up
and that wonderful gift
drifted away
back to God's sanctuary
where they will wait
many days and nights
to see him
in the brilliant sun
of His glory.

Fearing A Blast From the Past

Fearing A Blast From the Past

I shudder within
in worry of what may come to pass;
I've felt this before,
a burning love for another,
an insatiable desire to show them
the me that no one else sees,
to hold out my heart
so she might inspect it
with a deep understanding
of the scars etched across it
and the flaws that pump through it,
occasionally filling me
with a wretched, sinful taste,
and accept it as she would
a newborn looking for some sort of guidance
in a miserable and spiteful world.
And yet, I've also felt the wicked rush
as I was dropped from the cliffs of peace,
thrown among the wolves without a cry of warning.
One day I simply awoke in the wilderness once again,
only now naked and exposed to the spiteful crowds
who would sooner shun me that shake my hand.
Can I handle such harm once again?
It's felt easy, felt.... RIGHT
to extend myself to another
after months in my personal asylum,
trying to make sense of the madness
rushing through my head
like a river overflowing,
flooding my mind with danger.
But there is always that risk,
the chance that I'll awake
to an empty heart
that slowly fills with loss and fear,
a chalice of woe.

I shudder to myself
in my sightless fright,
again and again letting her know
just how I feel about her,
uncertain of how much longer I'll have to say it.
And suddenly, she,
with eyes glossy with wisdom,
seeing my plight,
strides swiftly to my side
with a wide smile and a reassuring sigh,
taking me in her arms
and whispering with my heart,
showing me the safety
of unbreachable love,
held together with a mighty mortar
that she applies to my knobby knees
and uncertain elbows,
showing me that I'm worth holding,
that I can be cared for,
that I am not alone.
So, let the past lay down its sword,
for its edge can no longer cut me;
such a rusty old weapon could never pierce
a thick new armor as strong as this,
shining in her sunlight,
showing the world
that we have a hope worth reaching for.

Tears of Love

Tears of Love

A sight so pure,
an intense release of emotions,
running miles down your face
to try and express the mad passion
you feel for... me?
... I feel...
so relieved.
Relieved knowing that
others are capable of loving me,
that my efforts, ceaseless and ever true,
are not in vain,
that we, two strange birds
riding on the winds,
collide with a breathtaking embrace
that sends my heart up and out my throat
as I sing of her sight and sound,
her un-comparable kindness,
and of how she sees through these feathers of mine
and stares into my breast,
knowing what I hold dear,
understanding my fears,
and, taking them in wing
without missing a beat,
clutches them to her own,
just as she does me.
With this new and unimaginable love
fueling my heart,
I now soar to new heights,
holding out my hand to her so she can follow.
We tug each other along through the thick and thin,
clouds accentuating the blissful journeys we take,
a simple backdrop to a sparkling day
pressed to her side.

Laughter catches in my happiness
as I chase after her dancing hair breathlessly,
she turning to smile to me reassuringly,
letting me know that she will never
leave me behind in the tailwind
to falter and fall from the bright sky
we share in one another's eyes
as we catch glimpses
of a fruitful future
where we grow healthy trees
to bear our delicious tenderness,
sharing our affection
through the soft center
and refreshing energy contained within.